Most adults don’t love change . . . and that’s totally normal. We tend to find comfort in routines, structure, and predictability because they help us feel safe and grounded. So when change comes, even if it’s something we chose, a new job, a new baby, or even a divorce, it can still feel disruptive. Life transitions, no matter how expected or positive, often bring up feelings of anxiety, exhaustion, or loneliness.
Right now, many of us living in the D.C. area are facing a collective moment of transition. You might be dealing with job loss or the looming threat of it. Chances are you know others such as neighbors, friends, colleagues, or loved ones who are navigating the same uncertainty. While there may be some comfort in knowing these changes aren’t personal, there’s also a deeper fear: that life as we know it is shifting in ways we can’t predict or control.
Why is Change So Hard?
It’s often said that kids thrive on routine – but adults do too. When a major change hits, especially one that’s unexpected or unwanted, it can stir up fears of losing things we rely on, like relationships, identity, income, or a sense of control. For those used to being the problem-solver, it can feel jarring to suddenly not have the answers. That sense of disorientation can lead to self-doubt, even if the transition was intentional.
In trying to avoid this discomfort, many of us make “safe” choices: the steady job, the practical relationship, the predictable neighborhood. And when life still throws us a curveball, it can feel like betrayal – as if we did everything “right” and still ended up in a hard place.
The Hidden Weight of Life Events
The Social Readjustment Rating Scale is one tool that attempts to quantify how stressful common life events can be. At the top of the list are things you might expect: the death of a spouse, divorce, job loss, a major illness. While there’s debate about ranking these events, the bigger takeaway is this: it’s normal to have a strong emotional response to big life changes. It doesn’t mean you’re weak or doing something wrong. It means you’re human.
How to Cope with Change
Some transitions shake us up briefly, and we find our footing again fairly quickly. But others have a way of unearthing deeper cracks in the foundation. You might feel suddenly overwhelmed, like everything is too much and you’re not sure where to start. That’s when support can make all the difference.
And yes, asking for help might feel foreign (or even like failure), especially if you’ve always been the one others rely on. But help comes in many forms:
- Reaching out to friends or family for emotional support, connection, or just someone to talk to.
- Delegating responsibilities like cooking, cleaning, or caregiving to lighten your mental and physical load.
- Seeking therapy to create a space where all parts of you – the confident problem-solver and the overwhelmed, uncertain version – are welcome.
- Separating what needs action from what needs acceptance, with support in figuring out the difference.
- Making room for grief, surprise, or unexpected joy, knowing transitions can bring a mix of emotions.
- Reconnecting with what really matters to you, especially when a transition sparks reflection or reevaluation of your path.
Therapy can help you move through transitions with more clarity, self-compassion, and steadiness. You don’t have to do it alone.
Grounding Strategies for the In-Between
There’s often a stretch of time in transitions where everything feels uncertain, the “liminal space” where you’re not where you were, but not quite where you’re going. During this time, grounding strategies can help: breathing exercises, movement, journaling, creative projects, or anything that offers your mind a moment of rest.
Transitions remind us that control is often an illusion. Life is always changing, even when things feel stable. The Greek philosopher Heraclitus said, “No man ever steps in the same river twice. It is not the same river and he is not the same man.” Change is constant, but so is your ability to adapt and grow.
With the right support, you don’t have to face these changes alone. Therapy can help you sort through what’s in your control, learn to accept what isn’t, and move forward with more clarity and confidence.
If this resonates with you, we’d love to hear from you. Reach out and let’s talk.
About the Author
Tanya Kansal, LMSW, is a licensed therapist at Montgomery County Counseling Center in Rockville, MD. She brings warmth, insight, and a strong background in law to her work with older teens and adults navigating anxiety, life transitions, and cultural or family dynamics. Tanya integrates DBT, mindfulness, and Internal Family Systems (IFS) principles to support clients in building emotional resilience and finding clarity in times of change.
